joke shorts

Teacher

Teacher (grumpy): “How did everyone on the class came to know this, and you are the only one who is still clueless?”

Me (entusiastically): “Interesting question! In fact I myself have been wondering the same thing?”

Nothing to prove

“I think I will stop doing logic, I feel like I have nothing to prove.”

On Hokusai

I consider Hokusai the greatest artist of all time, because he contributed to the two most prominent genres in visual art - landscapes and porn.

Too much of the left wing/right wing discussion is about which is better, when every ideology is bad when pushed to the extreme: If you lean to the far right you get wars, genocide, people dying on the street etc. and in the far left you get degrowth, free health care and education for everyone and stripping the rich out of their capital. Obviously both of these things are equally catastrophic.

Haskell

“Oh, in Haskell this app is just a one-liner!”

The one-liner:

app a b c d e= runMonadT <(@)> ( (LiftValue a b c) *!* stop) . \a -> d(a) $ e

Battling my ego

Battling my ego.

The stage is set.

I turn to it and say “It’s gonna hurt ME a lot more than it hurts YOU”.

Bash

I think that bash is so popular because it is so terrible language and hard to work with, that every time you make something work you feel like a wizard and your dopamine is to the roof

Timezones

“May you become an expert in time zones!” Ancient programmers curse

We love opensource

Companies’ pages:

“We love open source!”

Companies’ Github profiles:

“5 followers”

Elon and capitalism

People who read the Economist seem to be the embodiment of middle classs folks, who see themselves as “temporary-challenged billionaires” who deserve to be rich because they are smarter than everyone else. Like, they believe than one day Elon will come and appoint them as CEO, like a 14-year old who learns to play a guitar and thinks they’ll be Jimmie Hendix.

By the way, the way Elon acts provides for me an irrefutable, proof that capitalism is dead — if the world’s richest person cannot just use their money to enjoy themselves and instead prefers to continually make a fool of themself and be ridiculed by the whole world on a daily basis, then what’s the point of it all?

Old tech

Most people, after owning a laptop, or another piece of tech for more than 2 years:

“Yeah, this things is getting outdated, doesn’t support XYZ, I guess it’s time for a replacement…”

Me, after my 10-year laptop fails:

“THIS IS BULLSHIT!”

Mayday

Hey, Captain is it just me, or is the airplane headed straight to this huge volcanic crater, full of hot lava?
Yup, we will likely be all dead in a minute!
OK, so will you try to maybe, you know, alter our course?
I won’t, because that didn’t work out when the Russians tried doing it the 1940s.

The course leading to drowning in lava might not be a good course, but it is the best one out there!